i've ruined everything.

my mom warned me not to retaliate. to tolerate.
骂不还口, 打不还手.
but i still lost my tolerance and rationale.
i knew that my actions will hurt her ultimately,
because every mother in the world will not want to see her family fighting.
but i still let my temper take control of me.

dont tell me that everything will be ok.

nothing has been ok in the first place.