Ms Fix-it *

Much as i would like to be,
i'm not Ms Fix-it.
my heart breaks everytime i see you in pieces.
and i cant help but worry now that i know that
what's helping u get through this time is another potential heartbreaker.
it's not even close to a rebound,
it's just another disaster waiting to strike.

i dont want to see you come back to me all broken.
because i cant fix you.
i cant even fix myself,
how do i help you?
it makes me fear for myself.
the fact that i can't even help myself.
and that's why the doubts of me being in the position of a clinical psychologist or counsellor will never go away.
i can't help myself, how do i help others?
i can't let go of my own emotional baggage,
how am i going to deal with additional baggage?

as usual, im digressing.
is it our death instinct?
i rmb that meangirl was smsing me one day,
and we started talking about our tendencies to hurt ourselves.
and she said maybe that's the death instinct.
that's what you're doing now,
hurting yourself.
but that's what all of us do.
yeah, we get hurt by others all the time.
but i think the person that hurt us most is ourselves.
i wouldn't say that you're abnormal, hurting yourself,
because i do that all the time too.
is that our death instinct?

if it is,
how do i save you from it?