armour *

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

pretty much sums up everything.

i've been dreaming of you rather often lately.
my thoughts dont even go to you in the day..
work is boring, but i alternate between checking stuff and deciphering the lyrics of arashi songs..
or reading the newspapers.

the reading newspapers part is really surprising,
cos i HATE reading the papers.
but somehow papers became really interesting at work.
that's probably due to the fact that work is so damn freaking boring,
and my brain cells don't get any mental stimulation at all.

then when work ends,
i just spend my time watching arashi crack.

they say that you dream of certain things because you had thoughts of them in the day.

so.. where did you pop out from?

oh well, they're just dreams anyway.
dreams that are so real, i wake up feeling so empty.

i guess you have no idea what your 'maybe we should be just friends' did to me huh?

but contrary to the quote,
i only started building up my armour after you.
not that i'm blaming you..
it's probably more of my fault that i can't move on anyway.


p.s. is there sth wrong with my blogspot or blogspot's being stupid to everyone else too?
i can't change the colour of my font or put up pictures.
or toggle between html and normal text. help?
even my tags arent showing normally..... GRRR.