being straightforward

somehow, there are too many things that you cannot be straightforward with.

"instead of crying when you're feeling sad, you fool around with your friends and put up a smiling face, and pretend that nothing has happened. have you all done this before?"

saw this in a drama just now.

at least i know that im not alone when i do this.

it's funny how we work.
it's funny how we are not able to be frank and honest about how we feel even when we're with friends and family.
it's also funny how sometimes, we are actually able to be frank and honest with people that you don't really know well.

and this may probably explain why i've been withdrawing myself from my social circle.
i've spent too many years pretending to have fun, pretending that i'm fine, when i'm with my friends.
that is why i feel so emotionally exhausted after meeting up with groups of people sometimes.

but sometimes, this is the only way i know how to live.