little things.

while talking to mistress, i once told her that it's the little things that matters.
just a smile,
just a sms,
just a call,
are enough to make you jump over the moon in joy.

but just as little things can make you really happy,
they can bring you down too.

it's the little things that push you over the edge.

nagging constantly about things that are irrelevant and unimportant,
especially when compared to what we're doing at the current moment,
be it planning for the lesson, writing treatment plans, seeing children for therapy.
constantly pushing my buttons by requesting me to change my off day with little or zero notice.
giving me 3 hours to write 8 reports when i was told that i have 1-2 weeks to write them.
im wondering when will i unleash the monster in me at you.

and it's the little things that occurs that makes me want to cry.
like how the bamboo pole fell on my foot while i was hanging the laundry to dry just now.
it's just a small, unfortunate event,
but it seemed to be laughing at me.
taunting me.
that i'm just lying to myself.
i'm definitely not ok.
see, i cant even do laundry properly.
who am i kidding, thinking positive.

there's a limit to how much positive thinking i can do within a day,
when i've so many little things pushing my buttons.

and i wasnt a happy person to begin with.