[ there you go * ]

OH HO!!!
submitted the last two of my reports today.
大家辛苦了..

i duno why i got so insecure, paranoid, and confused.
looks like stats and i arent meant to be together.
haha. to mistress, seashells, meanie, fred, jiarong..
THANK YOU.
for being so patient with me..

im sooooo slp deprived.
shall pack my room after blogging, then slp.
i've got everything everywhere!! URGHS.

was talking to ming ydae.
he thinks im getting more morbid by the min.
haha.
but what if i say that.. that's just me?
that's the way i am?
i dont know why, but people expect me to be this chirpy, happy girl.
so everytime im with others, i put on that chirpy, happy mask.
i wonder, if the fun i have with them.. is it real?
if you're wearing a mask, will the feelings that you experience be real?
because at the end of the day,
when i return home, and my parents are asleep.
when i finally take the mask off,
i feel so empty inside. maybe it's my fault.

i do kind of rmb being a real chirpy, happy person.
those were the days. cedar days. =)
there were downs, but i knew i could handle it.
i used to know such things.

but somewhere along the way,
i stumbled too many times,
lost things that i held so dear to my heart.
maybe im too caught up in my mistakes and regrets.
but some wounds just dont heal.
no matter how you try, they still sting.
and the burden of these mistakes and regrets just haunt you.

and i was saying.. maybe it's my fault.
maybe i myself dont want to face reality.
so i hide behind my mask.
and.. i dont know how to take it off.

i want to be myself.
but does the world really need her?
and.. i dont really know who i really am.

haha. so is this an identity crisis?
sigh.
but dont worry. i wont do silly things.
ive got responsibilities.
ive to take care of my parents,
so i cant die til they die.
but i dont want them to die.
so. oh gosh, meanie's right. virgos are full of contradictions.
if i dont want them to die, then i cant die.
damnit.

oh ok mustn't be too morbid.
right. so er.

DATES TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!!
1. 15th: Anita's coming back from aussieland!
(tho it's also the day of talia's paper... -__-)

2. 26th!!! last day of exams!

3. 28th: Retail therapy with joanne. =)

right. i cant rmb the rest.
jo-ann's coming back soon. and there's fels.
hmm. when's dahdah coming back?

when jo-ann comes back i'll get the salsa dip recipe from her.
YUMS.