[ w a v e s * ]

on the outside, she looks all put together.
but on the inside, she's just damaged goods.
she fools everyone into thinking that she's fine,
when she pastes a smile onto her face everytime she sees someone.

pain.
it comes in waves.
there's the low,
and then all of a sudden another wave hits you,
and you drown in the pain.

but now, it's not just in waves anymore.
it's constant.
just like how i constantly think of you.
it stings.
all the time.
it hurts.

“does it hurt?”
“yeah..”
“where does it hurt?”
“i don’t know. everywhere.”
“maybe it hurts for a reason.”

i know. we all want a life without pain.
it's a fantasy we all have.
to only experience pleasure.

that pleasure's good.
the more the merrier.

that pain's bad.
and to have no pain, is even better.

but in reality,
pain is there for a reason.
i blogged about that once,
why all of us need some pain to survive.

but i cant breathe.
i cant, when the waves hit me constantly.
i dont have a chance to surface for air.

it's time to say goodbye.
i've known, all along, that you're a mistake.
i've known, from the first day, that i'll be hurt.
i couldnt help myself.
i love you.
but it's time to say goodbye.

all i need now,
is courage to let go.
and another target to fixate at.
and plenty of painkillers.

and i dont want the world to see me,
cos i dont think that they'd understand..