affliation *

i've realised,
that im afraid of being hurt.
so while i chase the stages of 'intimacy',
i hide behind the stages of 'isolation'.

that makes me wonder..
if ive a conflict between my self-sttributed needs and implicit needs.
that is,
maybe ive a high self-attributed need for affiliation.
but ive a low implicit need for that.
thus, the things i do?

i've pondered about this
after doing the fishbowl discussion
for joyce's article on implicit and self-attributed needs,
and the question keeps resurfacing every now and then.
hmm.

or is it just me protecting myself?
because ive been hurt before?