selective memory *

Being a good person is like being a goal keeper. No matter how many goals you save. People will remember only the one that you miss.
— Unknown

it's a pity isn't it?
that it only takes a mistake to ruin yourself.

you know how people always say "forgive and forget"?
i've problems doing that.
i cannot just forgive and forget,
esp if that person did not do anything to redeem himself/herself,
esp if that person keeps hurting others.
they don't deserve my forgiveness.

and i never forget.
i hold grudges.

but if you look at the flip side,
maybe this explains why i don't love myself.
if i can't forgive others for the hurt they've caused,
how do i forgive myself for my own mistakes?
for the things that i should have done but didnt?
and for the things that i shouldn't have done but did it anyway?